Communication: The key to a successful marriage

It’s years now that I’ve been working with software developers and my husband (not necessarily in that order) and I’ve come to learn a few things about how “they” (developers and husbands) think.

If you want to know the answer to something – it’s not enough to simply ask. Because if you simply ask, you will only get half of the response that you’re looking for.

For instance, a question such as “have you seen X?” will only get you the answer “yes” and not “yes, it’s in the Y”.

Perhaps it’s just me though. Am I the only one who is already tired from the first question knowing that I will have to make minute follow up questions following every path in my process workflow to get to the real answer I’m looking for? I’m not trying to get philosophical, just doing some good old fashioned self examination.

Can I be the ONLY one? I hardly think so. 

In what can only be described as a comedy of errors I have spent the last year and a half thinking my oven is broken (in fact I’ve complained about it and my convection microwave oven on several separate occasions) only to discover recently that it is GAS, and therefore, when I was threatening asking my husband about when my oven would work and he was telling me that it DID work we completely missed the fact that what we had [t]here was a failure to communicate. 

My husband didn’t know that I didn’t know our oven was gas, and I didn’t know it was gas. (In a complete digression I will tell you that it STILL does not work, and will not work until a friend of ours comes by and check the pipes, so, really, it DOESN’T work, but…..well, I already said it…I digress…)

Neither one of us knew what the other didn’t know. We had a bit of a Socratic paradox going on. 

So, how to remedy this? 

Well, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t the foggiest idea. I can tell you one thing though, “is that gas or electric?” is going to be my new favorite question. 

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2 Responses to Communication: The key to a successful marriage

  1. octavio

    Why not ask “Do you know where X is?” πŸ˜›

    • spoiledexpat

      Because then you get this: “Do you know where X is?” “Yes.” “Could you tell me where it is?” “Yes.” “OK! So where is it?!??!” πŸ˜‰

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